My hand turned me down
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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