Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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