Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
