Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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