I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
