remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
