I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
