fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
