Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
