talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
