How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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