please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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