Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
