Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
