I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Can I color on your dick again?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
