Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
