Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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