New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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