I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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