What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
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