Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
