I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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