In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
