how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
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he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
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No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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