**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
kristin has been a bad kristin
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
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