Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
