eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Randomize
