3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
