6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
