Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
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