so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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