I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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