I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
