I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
