My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize