Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
