It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
