you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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