She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
