I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
