Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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