office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
