k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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