Im at strip club and am horny
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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