Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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