Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
