i jhust puked up my retainher.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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