Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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