so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
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