In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
