No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
