We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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