I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
