oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
