I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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