Can Purell be used as lube?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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