and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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