At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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