thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
And then he peed in my hair
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize