It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
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